Sometimes I wake up in the early hours of the morning or late in the middle of the night having read Scripture and a phrase of poetry–usually jut one phrase, pops into my head and I must write it down. This morning I was listening to some worship music and what ensued was something that I would relate to the structure of a song, but I’m rubbish at composing melody. So if you’d like to try, I’d welcome the collaboration.
It started out with “I’d starve myself before I’d bow down.” Here’s the rest of it. I don’t have a name for it either…
Ignoring death, drink holds my need,
Screen’s glow, only god I’ve known,
Stitches unseen riddled all through me,
I’d starve myself before I’d bow down.
I am darkness, I am fear,
I am shattered, no one near,
I am selfish, I am lost,
I am blind, who cares the cost?
I am fine, I am fine, I am fine, I’m not fine.
The pages say that it’s not okay,
To banish all dependency,
Someone died to take my pain,
Paid my debt and made me free.
He is daylight, He is love
He is battle-scarred, He sees,
He is whole, already won,
I don’t know Him, He knows me.
He is good, He is good, He is God, I’m not good.
Oh God, what have I done,
With all these years on earth?
How could you forgive this one
Life of shadow since my birth?
He says, “Be still, call off your fight.
I’ve heard every night you’ve cried.
It won’t be easy to stay in the light,
but I’m right here, by your side.”
Lord, you are safety, you are truth,
Full forgiven, I am moved,
My heart to you, I’ll forever bind,
I am yours, you are mine.
You are mine, you are mine, I am yours, I’m just fine.
I am yours, stay by my side.